Anyone who has ever lost a beloved dog knows the grief can be overwhelming and intense. While some may dismiss pet loss as less significant than human loss, research shows that losing a dog can be just as devastating as losing a human family member. Here’s why our bonds with dogs run so deep and why their loss affects us so profoundly.
1. Dogs Form Genuine Attachment Bonds With Us
Research published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology shows that dogs form attachment bonds with their owners that are remarkably similar to the bonds between human parents and children. Dr. Clive Wynne, director of the Canine Science Collaboratory at Arizona State University, explains that dogs have evolved specifically to form deep emotional connections with humans, making their loss particularly painful.
2. The Oxytocin Connection Is Real
Studies have found that when dogs and their owners interact, both experience a surge in oxytocin – the same “love hormone” released between mothers and their babies. Research led by Takefumi Kikusui at Azabu University in Japan found that eye contact between dogs and their owners triggers this oxytocin release, creating a genuine biochemical bond that makes separation through death especially difficult.
3. Dogs Are Part of Our Daily Routines
According to grief counselor Betty J. Carmack, author of “Grieving the Death of a Pet,” the loss of a dog disrupts nearly every aspect of our daily routines. From morning walks to evening feeds, our days are structured around our pets, making their absence felt constantly throughout the day.
4. They Provide Unconditional Love
Unlike human relationships, which can be complex and conditional, dogs offer pure, unconditional love. Dr. Stanley Coren, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of British Columbia, notes that this unconditional acceptance creates a unique bond that can make the loss particularly devastating.
5. Social Support May Be Limited
Research published in the journal Society & Animals found that people grieving pet loss often receive less social support than those grieving human loss. This “disenfranchised grief” can make the experience even more difficult, as many feel they must hide or downplay their pain.
6. Dogs Are Present During Major Life Events
Dogs are often with us through significant life changes – moves, relationships, job changes, and family expansions. Julie Axelrod, a grief counselor specializing in pet loss, explains that losing a dog means losing a witness to our personal history, adding another layer to our grief.
7. The Physical Impact Is Measurable
A 2017 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that people can experience physical symptoms following pet loss, including increased risk of cardiovascular issues. This “broken heart syndrome” demonstrates the very real physical impact of losing a dog.
8. They’re Family Members, Not Just Pets
Research by the Harris Poll shows that 88% of pet owners consider their animals to be family members. Dr. Hal Herzog, an anthrozoologist and professor emeritus at Western Carolina University, notes that this shift in how we view pets has made their loss more impactful than ever before.
9. Dogs Help Regulate Our Emotions
Studies at Johns Hopkins University have shown that dogs help regulate our emotional states and reduce stress. When we lose them, we also lose this natural emotional support system, making it harder to cope with the grief itself.
10. The Loss of Physical Touch
Research in the field of tactile neuroscience shows that physical touch with pets releases endorphins and reduces stress hormones. Dr. James A. Serpell, professor of Animal Ethics at the University of Pennsylvania, explains that losing this physical connection can create a genuine physiological void.
11. They’re Our Constant Companions
Unlike many human relationships where we might see people occasionally, dogs are with us constantly. The American Psychological Association notes that this constant companionship creates a particularly strong attachment that makes separation through death especially difficult.
12. The Decision Factor
Dr. Susan Cohen, director of counseling at the Animal Medical Center in New York, points out that having to make end-of-life decisions for our dogs can add an extra layer of complexity to our grief. This responsibility can lead to feelings of guilt and doubt that may not be present when losing a human loved one.
Moving Forward
Understanding why dog loss affects us so deeply can help validate our feelings and normalize the grieving process. If you’re struggling with the loss of a dog, remember that your grief is natural and valid. Consider reaching out to pet loss support groups or counselors who specialize in pet bereavement.
If you’re currently grieving the loss of a dog, remember that there are resources available. The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement (APLB) offers support groups and counseling services specifically for those dealing with pet loss.
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